A couple wedding gifts have rolled in lately that have made me seriously reconsider the whole Not-Changing-My-Name issue. They’re checks. Made out to either Mrs. HisName, or to MyFirstName + His+HisLastName.
You know what all that equals to? Me not being able to cash the damn checks!
Rogue Husband is laughing all the way to the bank.
And…I spent 15 minutes on the phone with Nikon Customer Service today trying to get the guy to spell my last name right. Frustrating.
How annoying! I’m seriously considering the jekyll-and-hyde 2 name scenario but will certainly make sure there’s a joint account with the new surname on!
ROFL. Just wait til businesses set up multiple accounts and identities for you because they can’t spell our name! Every time they try to find us on the computer they re-enter all the data under their spelling version. My last name was White and no one ever got that wrong
I’m stuffed from a spelling perspective anyway, even with just one name. His name is a bit unusual and assumes he’s said something else. So I’m just going to have to get very good at making people understand my spelling!
Can you possibly talk to the bank about an AKA? I have an AKA set up for my maiden name; perhaps they’ll let you do one in his last name? It’s worth inquiring.
Ha, the title of this post got my hackles up so I came in ready for a fight
But seriously, the place to assign blame would be on the person who didn’t bother to find out what you name is, IMO.
The other day my man and I got called “The A____s”. Which is his name, not mine. I realise this is going to happen for the rest of my life, but this was the first time, and it was weird. In an ideal world, we’d get called “The H____s” just as often. I’m not holding my breath.
Elisa, I’ve never heard of an AKA, but I’ll investigate it! That would be really handy.
I was listening to the Stuff Mom Never Told You podcast today on the issue of keeping your name (and the episode on Miss, Mrs. or Ms. – enlightening), and so few American women do – at least, when the statistic is general. The deciding factors of whether women change their names or not are:
Religion – if you’re religious, you tend to change your name.
Marrying age – women who marry later keep their names.
Time in your profession – women who’ve built a professional reputation would be setting their careers back if they changed their names.
Type of profession – writers and artists are the highest populations of women to keep their names.
The conversation on Ms. V Mrs. was fascinating too. I never was clear on the argument for Ms., but when you think about introducing yourself as either “Miss Rogue” (ie. young and single), “Mrs. Hisname” (defines you as his wife), or “Ms. Rogue” (defines you as yourself), the choice is pretty damn clear. I’ve worked hard to develop my professional and personal reputation, and I would like to introduce myself as – myself. Only Ms. (the counterpart to the all-purpose Mister) serves that purpose.
Also – my last name is extremely uncommon. Google my name, I pop up. You can’t get better branding than an unusual name, and Rogue Husband’s last name isn’t quite as unique (though it’s not Smith, to be fair). I guess when it comes down to it, my name is as much a business decision as a personal one.
Any Dr. Who fans out there? I love how everyone in Amy’s life is automatically a Pond to the Doctor.
Is there a pronunciation difference between Miss Rogue and Ms. Rogue?
I can never tell.
Hahaha you called Rogue Husband Mr. Smith and I thought of Dr. Who’s alias. And then you brought up the Ponds. I’m happy we’re friends
Though now that I think about it, since you’re still Rogue Bride, does that make him still Rogue Groom?