Shhhh!
I’m hiding out from the Save the Date cards.
Ever get to a part of the wedding planning process that just makes you want to go – You Don’t Exist!
That’s me and my guest list. I’m putting it away until after Christmas when my fiance and I will be able to sit down together and figure it all out. I’m really tempted to just invite everyone and see what happens rather than stress over it. Chances are pretty good that a lot of people will not be able to make it, right?
On the other hand, once invited and RSVP’d Yes, you cannot – CANNOT – un-invite. I’ve read those “Ask the blogger” questions that go “how do I uninvite people to my wedding?” and the only decent answer is: You can’t. You are stuck for it.
I think the happy medium I’m coming to is to try and shrink the guest list a little – only send Save the Date cards to all the people I really really want to be there (and a few obligatory family members), and see what happens with the early round of RSVPs.
Fundamentally, I really want everyone on my massive list to be with us. I can be a bit of a people-hater, but all of these particular people have contributed meaningfully to our lives and it would make me deeply happy to have them there. Realistically I know that a chunk of them will have something better to do that day.
Well, it’s just a wedding. And now I’m going to ignore its existence for a few days.
And I guess I should say something about Christmas. I’m in Southern California where it’s around 67degrees and sunny, and yesterday I walked to the liquor store in a tank top and jeans. Doesn’t feel like Christmas. We have a rosemary plant trimmed in the shape of a tree on the kitchen table and there are presents under it. Tonight my fiance and I will open them with each other before going to our respective family homes. I’ve got dish-duty on Christmas Eve at my Grandfather’s house and still need to wrap my gifts for my little half-sisters who have yet to master gratitude. And I have a pile up of work to finish before I can even make the drive. Ok, I’m crap at Christmas posts.
We tried as hard as we could to use the save-the-dates to specify WHOM was invited, and it didn’t stop some people from thinking, “Oh goodie! I’m bringing a guest and a buddy or two of mine!”
I found out too late it’s wise to have the RSVP page of your website say “Please only rsvp those names on your invite. We wish we could let everyone bring a guest, but our budget cannot accommodate it.”
Did I make a mistake in encouraging RSVP’s six months before the wedding? I got a little attitude from people over it. I will say that the sooner I had numbers, the sooner I could make money decisions.
Sometimes Christmas is too difficult to do fun, cheerful, spirited posts. I had a meltdown today after I found out John and I are in different rows on our East Coast-bound red eye. Here’s hoping it’ll feel more like Christmas there…
Cat – I think that is a great tip about specifying who should RSVP on the wedding website. I’ll see if the fiance will go for that idea. We need numbers!
Lena – What a bummer about the red-eye! You might ask at the desk if they could find a way to seat you together. It’s worth a shot. Have a safe flight! Me, I’ll be driving in heavy traffic tomorrow.
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