Cinderella: I'd like a sleek, red, form-fitting dress. Maybe with a slit up the side? Godmother: Oh no dear, you'd look much better in white. Poofy white.
Feels like all I do is battle to make this wedding true to my vision, rather than other people’s. Working with my aunts is a metaphorical arm-wrestling match, between them making thinly veiled criticisms of my Moroccan lanterns and paper crane place cards. When I suggested placing the lanterns around the booths in little clusters today, Aunt V said “You know, you’re not going to be around when we’re setting up” – which to me implied that she was considering losing the lanterns when I wasn’t there to check on it.
Ok, I’m sure she didn’t mean it that way, and I wouldn’t put paranoia past me at this point. But it sure sounded like it. I had a vision of me bolting across the street an hour before the ceremony to check up on the decor. Talk about a “Bride Getting Ready” shot.
And today, I picked up my dress from alterations, and the alterations lady was so sweet, she made the headband from my mother’s lace for free. But… she also completely ignored the instructions I left her with to add in the paisley rhinestone trim – artistically, not gaudily mind you. She cut up the paisley trim, ditched the paisleys, and somehow managed to find BOWS in it. And glued the rhinestone bow-butterfly shapes all over the lace headband. She said “the paisley didn’t go with anything”. Well, yes it did, because my entire wedding has paisley touches throughout, which is why I wanted it incorporated in the first place.
Not my vision. But it was free and done with the best intentions. I’m letting it go.
Then there are the white orchids, the white aisle runner, and other traditional touches that were never ever part of what I wanted. How did they get there? Because I have to choose my battles.
WHY DO I HAVE TO DEAL WITH BATTLES?
I feel like I have to defend my wedding against everyone else’s interpretations of what they think it should be. And I should not have to do that! I don’t have the energy to do that, or the time, or the patience. People tell me to let things go – I have been. Far too much. Everyone else needs to let their preconceived notions go so I can have my wedding.
No, none of them mean to drive me crazy. They’re trying to help, and I appreciate that. But I just want to stop having to fight for every little thing and curl up in a ball and cry, or sleep, or cry and sleep. All these little confrontations are exhausting, and I shouldn’t have to assert myself every five minutes.
Damn it if it makes me sound like a “Bridezilla” but this is my wedding, and people need to stop arguing with me.
